Thoughts on Election Day

It's funny how people only seem talk of divisiveness during the last four years. This administration actually brought me far closer to others than I was ever to them before. These times have made crystal clear to me what matters most and how much I appreciate friends, family, and strangers. And colors of skin, and places of origin, and languages, and personal identities, and spiritualities, and food, and preferences, all these things that make us so freaking cool. 

This administration, no joke, literally brought me together with my husband, led us to our son (who I have wanted to meet for forever), and eventually, through this pandemic, brought me home (in this case, the place I was born, where my parents and sibling live with his family, too), where I had no idea I wanted to be. Everything that has come from these four full years really has reinforced for me how important my childhood outdoors, supportive and loving family and family friends, holistic studies (philosophies, religions, business, languages, science, histories--oh my gosh, it's so hard to put names on it all as it does the depth of the studies no justice), world travels, and all of these and more privileges have been. It has taught me how important it is to continue to do hard work every day, whether that be on myself, or as a friend, a mother, a partner, a neighbor, a person with a carbon footprint on this beautiful planet, which is full of life that has proceeded me longer than I could ever imagine. I appreciate everything more now seeing how lucky I am to have had experiences and studies that preceded this moment in time. 

2020, and all that these four years, for that matter, has made me realize how crazy, how cacophonous, and grossly powerful social media/the news is and that we seriously need to watch what we are doing--to the world around us, to ourselves, to each other, to our kids. And we also need to watch all the things we really, truly are not doing. I understand and appreciate now more than ever that this point of view requires seriously equal access to really freaking good education, and that it's sheer bullshit how the systems (that we humans create and hold onto) that we have in place screw so many people over. We seriously need to stop that shit. It's honestly just so stupid how unsustainable and heartless to continue like this. I see that this point of view requires access to resources (absolutely including health care, but also physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, holistic nourishment), and profound, sincere love--all around us. 

I've gathered together that it's my sole responsibility to correct my own defaults when I see/feel them and to listen to that which surrounds me, whether it comes in the form of the natural world or some person on the street or what/whomever. It's my job to better myself. Not anybody else's. It's also not my job to "better" someone else and I don't have the answers to anything or anyone but rather only of me. Everything, every experience, every interaction with another human provides me lessons and it's my duty to take all of this as gifts and run with it, cherish it all. In sum, I have less fears today knowing how much closer I actually feel to the universe, most definitely including the human beings around me. This is definitely contrary to what (almost) every freaking social media/news source/person I know has said over the last four years. This crazy ass time is just that--crazy, and full--and I believe we can do great things and see we are doing great things, too. It has helped me a lot to see all that. It gets me excited, actually. 

I know what I am going to keep doing: focus on bettering myself, do what I feel is right, and do it in the most non-douchebag-y way I can conjure up, and find ways to sustain that work.

While the current president is obviously total shit show and, frankly, a really mean guy, we have has lots of really freaking mean guys as presidents. I remember when, in 2005, I told people in Europe that I was Canadian just to avoid conflict because of having a president who was deemed a War Criminal and a Criminal Against Humanity. Remember that guy? I won't forget how I wasn't let into the club that night because of my passport, And Obama deported 2.5 million (potential?) friends and separated families who should be safe, should be together. What happened to my friend in 3rd grade, Obdulia Ramirez, a daughter of Mexican seasonal farm workers, who changed my life? I mourn that shit every day. I hope she is alive and well. And deported U.S. tax payers who helped build this shit with their bare backs? Those people have experienced things that I never have (and maybe never, ever will) and worked way harder than I ever have (and maybe never, ever will)--I pray I will never let any of that go, and that I always recognize that my struggle does in no way shape or form equal theirs. (Ehem, Black Lives.) I also pray to always appreciate the life I have been afforded to live and try to convert that appreciation into being good, kind, open. They've contributed to our economies, bought real estate, groceries, built businesses that didn't exist before.  They've taught me so much I never knew, shared their food...with me, of all people! Insane. (Ugh, mole.) The heartlessness and ruthlessness of it all is seriously fucked up and I won't forget the choices that have been made without my consent. And shit I've contributed to. 

But, no matter what, I am going to keep voting for people who I feel can take us further as groups in the life experience. I'm also going to keep bettering myself. And I'm gonna keep taking opportunities to vote safely at home where I can also look at my ballot, sit with it in bed, and take my time, and study. It's actually pretty cool to not feel rushed to vote and I am genuinely curious when people don't take that opportunity when it's literally sitting right in front of them. I'll get over it. And, yeah, I'll also vote people out, too, if I realize that they abuse the power I voted them to have. No excuses. There's always someone who can do better and that's definitely something we need to hold onto. No more tenure shit, life terms, electoral college. When you mess up, you're done. Move on. Onto the next. They can better themselves at home like everyone else. We are all human but this shit is real. When something doesn't work anymore, it's gotta change. Change is fine. And good. Gotta surf those waves and sit in discomfort of heading into the never-been-done-before stuff, our unknowns. It's seriously bat shit crazy to allow people to have a job for life, and even when someone else can do it better! Totally crazy. 

Anyways, no one presides over me but me. And, well, that's all I got. And that's a lot.